let there be light.

People always say that your thirties are the most enjoyable years of your life.  You have things together, you've had your kids, you're starting to get settled and know who you are..your finances are probably more stable.  Well, I've got one of those down.  They are nine and six, a girl and boy, respectively.  Working on the rest.  Okay, maybe I have one and a half down.  I kind of am starting to figure out who I am.   

I've been on this planet for thirty-one years, and I find myself a newly single (divorce is pending) parent who is looking for a job that pays enough for me to pay my mortgage on my own for the first time.  Of course, in have-my-cake-and-eat-it-too fashion, I'd love to be able to pay the rest of my bills too.  Because of this, the new job hunt is only one facet of the re-arranging of my life; I'm also back into college courses, one at a time. I have a fantastic boyfriend who lives in Canada who I don't see nearly enough. You'll hear more about him later, since part of my frustration in life rests in the long gaps between chances we have to meet.  

I am part of what you would call the middle class, though the middle class seems to be disappearing in this interesting economy.  Either you have money, or you don't.  It seems that soon there will be no in-between.  

I've been working part-time on films for years and years, but it's not steady enough work for me to pull in a regular paycheck, especially since I live in a climate that has four seasons.  Film work in winter is nearly non-existent.  My son, the youngest, has now reached that magical age of going to school all day...a novelty, I assure you!  So I'm on the hunt for a job I won't hate that will pay enough to pay my mortgage, in an economy where it's so hard to find a job, MBA grads are working at Dunkin' Donuts.  

BUT, there is always a silver lining.  The actual quote goes something like, "every dark cloud has a silver lining", and while I won't ever admit to literally seeing a silver lining in every dark cloud, it has been known to happen from time to time.  And I'm running with it.  

Here I will spell out the intricacies of the life of a thirty-something woman going through what I believe almost everyone is going through right now in some similar fashion..the struggles of life.  I'm thrashing about with no idea what I'm doing, just hoping that what I'm doing is the right thing.  But instead of complaining about how things might suck, I'm going to look for the good in things that happen in my life, hopefully on a daily basis.  I firmly believe that the key to a good life lies in perspective...it's not what happens to you, but how you react to it.  

So off on this journey I go...feel free to come along for the ride.